I Made a New Year’s Resolution After All

So despite saying just a few days ago that I wasn’t planning on making any New Year’s resolutions, ya girl went and made a New Year’s resolution.

I’m not eating kale or drinking more water or anything like that. I’ve decided that every single day in 2018, I’m going to watch a movie. Yes, this is the dumbest resolution I could make. However, I truly do not care and I’m going to stick with it. I already anticipate failing because I’m going home to visit in like a week or so and I’ll probably have something better to do than watch a movie.

By the end of 2018, though, I want to have watched 365 films. Since I’m going to TIFF this year, there’s a good chance I’ll make up for any missed days because I end up watching at least three movies a day there. Whatever. You’re not invested in that. I get it. You wanna know what movies I’ve already watched for the first five days of 2018.

Here we go:

I, Tonya

National Treasure

The Beguiled

Black Mirror: San Junipero

Lovesong

If you want to split hairs, I guess technically, San Junipero is a TV show, but it’s on the movie rating app, Letterboxd, so I’m counting it. Sue me. I’ve also seen National Treasure NUMEROUS times before, but listen, this is a forking good movie and I’m in love with Diane Kruger.

WHATEVER. This is my New Year’s resolution. Go get your own.

Needless to say, there will be spoilers below.

I wanna tell y’all about I, Tonya first and foremost because it’s the most recent movie to come out and one that’s drumming up a lot of awards chatter. Margot Robbie’s performance was unreal, and when they took the focus away from her to focus on other people, the movie faltered. She was the insanely talented glue that held this movie together. I didn’t have an opinion on her acting talents because I’ve only seen her in Suicide Squad. (Yeah, that’s right. I haven’t seen The Wolf of Wall Street yet. It just sounded like so much effort to sit through that.)

One of the things about awards season that bothers me is that people put a lot of stock in the transformations actors go through to become their roles. Or their press circuit always centers on some injury they got on set because they were just too committed. I mean, Jennifer Lawrence started very early this year. Leo DiCaprio did it two years ago.

The reason it bugs me is that, yes, it shows how committed you are, but that doesn’t mean you had a good performance. The hurdler who breaks a leg on the first hurdle was really committed, but they still came in last.

The reason I bring this up is because people are already talking about Margot Robbie’s “incredible transformation” and if she does win, it’ll always be linked to that. Truly, was it THAT much of a transformation? In her case, that’s not the extent or strength of her acting.

The scene where she relives the triple axel was simultaneously beautiful and sad. You have this moment that felt so deserved because we’ve seen her work her ass off to never be considered as good because she didn’t fit the feminine ideals the figure skating world wanted her to fit into. But this triple axel was the biggest, most beautiful “fuck you” to all of them. And all of that is there in her face. In the Tonya that’s reflecting back on it in the interview and the Tonya that lands it in real time. It’s this moment of pure triumph that has an undercurrent of pain because all her life, Tonya just wanted to be Good. She wanted people to like her. She wanted to matter and, in that moment for maybe the first time in her life, she had hope.

The movie also had a lot to say about how society views women and how they treat the women who don’t fit into their cookie cutter idea of what women should look and act like. A woman shouldn’t have spent the morning chopping down wood and fixing cars. A woman shouldn’t be dressed like that. Despite being the best skater out there, the judges knocked down her scores because rough tomboy Tonya Harding was not who they wanted to be the face of figure skating. How we all wish movie Tonya’s “suck my dick” to the judges could’ve been real.

One of the most heartbreaking scenes in the movie is where she tracks down a judge to his car and is desperate. All she wants to know is how to get a fair shot at the thing she loves. That scene and the courthouse scene toward the end solidified Margot Robbie’s performance for me.

As for the rest, I thought it was a little ridiculous that they wanted me to believe  Sebastian Stan and Margot Robbie were 15. They also couldn’t figure out the tone they were going for. They’d frame some of the abusive scenes as the horror they are and then treat others without the same sincerity. All in all, though, what a triumph for Margot Robbie.

I don’t think I truly have an opinion on The Beguiled. I liked it. It’s not Sofia Coppola’s finest and the lighting made the movie very tough to watch on a laptop. It’s no Virgin Suicides. Virgin Homicide, though, amiright??

Lovesong is a movie I’ve half avoided and half looked forward to. Here’s a fun fact about me; I love Riley Keough. Yet another criminally underused actor whose movies I will watch. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen movies of some actors that only the actors’ parents have also seen.

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by Lovesong. It was a very quiet movie. The kind of movie my sister would despise. She likes musicals because they sing all their feelings. I like movies where people just quietly stare longingly at one another. So needless to say, I enjoyed myself. I was not expecting to be blindsided by that much sadness, but boy did this hit me hard.

Speaking of movies, I think I’m going to put up a post about the Golden Globes this weekend. I don’t have a TV, so I’ll be living through twitter. HOWEVER, I do have a lot of unpopular opinions and I’m rooting real hard for Lady Bird. Look for that maybe tomorrow? It has to be tomorrow because that’s when the awards are, but will I make my deadline? We’ll find out.

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Time is a Social Construct, but Happy New Year!

So, I was driving to work this morning and I saw this:

If you can’t really see, it’s a plane with a banner. The banner says “You look bee-utiful!” and it’s an ad for Bumble, the dating app.

First of all, I was unaware that business were still out there using planes as a means of advertising. Certainly not hip, young, millennial companies. I thought plane banners exclusively catered to real estate agents.

What a nice way to welcome 2018.

I also texted two (2!) people “Happy Birthday” instead of “Happy New Year.” I don’t know how I’m allowed to operate heavy machinery.

I’m not super big on New Years’ resolutions. I think they’re a scam for gyms to make a bunch of extra money. I do really like this video by a YouTuber named Natalie Tran about how there should be a New Years Resolution Police Task Force that makes people follow through with their resolutions. It’s such a weird video, but it gets me good every time.

So, do I have any New Year’s resolutions?

Kinda?

I’m gonna be back more on this blog, that’s for sure. I know y’all missed me. I certainly missed yelling into the void about my deeply unpopular opinions on pop culture and guilting my friends and family into reading them.

I’m also gonna keep writing. Duh. I moderately enjoy it.

If you’re going to ClexaCon in Vegas in April, your girl’s gonna be there. I’ll sign your book. I’ll take a selfie with you…maybe…if I’m having a good hair day. You’re in luck. I almost always have a good hair day. Look at this bedhead I woke up to today.

Maybe I’ll learn how to pose for a selfie in a normal way between now and April.

I’m going to be moving (again) because I don’t know if this California sunshine is for me. I like my days overcast and stormy. That being said, I’d like to be a guest on an LGBT podcast, so if you’re in the LA area and you’ve got a podcast, hit me up.

Also, fingers crossed, there’s like a 97% chance I’m going to TIFF again this year. BLESS.

Oh, and I think I wanna get another tattoo.

And that’s about it? If you want to tell me about your hopes and dreams for 2018, you know what to do.*

*By “you know what to do,” I mean go to the Contact Me page. I’m writing this from my app at work and it won’t let me link it. 😦

The Best of Me: 2017 Edition

Hello, everyone! Welcome to the last few days of 2017. The weird interim between Christmas and New Years. For a lot of you, that means being off school or work. For people like me who knowingly entered into the hospitality industry, today is my Tuesday.

As far as my life goes, 2017 has been a bit of a whirlwind. I picked my life up and moved entirely across the country. I published a book. I worked at six (six!) different companies. Not because I’m a flake or anything. Life just happens, okay? I started this mess of a blog that you people keep reading for some unknown reason. I also wrote two other books that are in the process of being edited.

It has been quite the year.

In celebration of me, I’m collecting some of my favorite things that I’ve written over the course of the year for you to peruse as you mindlessly eat gingerbread until the new year comes.

Without further ado:

The Best of Me: 2017 Edition

Burn Before Reading – So, I wrote a book technically last year, but it was published this year. In fact, January will mark the one year anniversary of putting that thing into the world. I wrote it for my sixteen-year-old self. So, here’s to you, kid, I hope you’re proud of me.

Thank You & I’m Sorry: The Magic of Lady Bird – It’s no secret that Lady Bird has taken hold of a part of my heart. It’s just one of those movies that feels so deeply personal without actually being mine at all. Somehow, it felt like I was watching a memory. This is one of those movies that I’m going to carry with me forever.

Santa Barbara, 1979 – Everything I said about Lady Bird, goes for 20th Century Women also. When I started this blog, I made the Tina Kakadelis Starter Pack as a nod to Seth Cohen from The O.C.. I have half a mind to make a new one for the new year because I can’t fathom that list existing without this movie.

Nancy Wheeler is the Real Hero of Stranger Things – Nancy Wheeler deserves a monster hunting spin-off and that’s all I need to say on the matter.

Barry Allen, Ross Geller, & Toxic Masculinity – One thing I learned this year is that I truly despise Friends. I’m glad I can finally feel confident in my opinion on the show. This article came after too many cups of coffee and prolonged exposure to Friends and Barry Allen. The conclusion I came to? Barry Allen is a saint and Ross Geller is truly the scum of fictional characters.

We Need to Talk About The Bold Type – One of the best shows of the year was The Bold Type. It was sweet, endearing, and passionate and everything 2017 needed. Granted, it has some kinks left to work out, but what first season show is perfect? This one got pretty close and had one of my favorite TV moments of the year.

“Yep, I’m (Still) Gay” – This year was the thirtieth anniversary of Ellen’s coming out episode. I doubt I’d have this blog or have written a book without it. Thank you, Ellen.

Thoughts from a Waiting Room – This is the story of how I deeply hate music festivals, how I almost died on I-4 just outside of Orlando, and how much I miss one of my best friends, Melanie.

Pissed-Off Writer Writes About Pissed-Off “Artist” – I hit my breaking point when it came to dudes who think they can do whatever they want.

Quote of the Day: 08.25.17 Springsteen and 42 Years of Born to Run – Because I can’t let a list go by without mentioning Springsteen. But, also, because I don’t know the person I’d be if I didn’t listen to Born to Run in my formative years.

Untitled Carly Allen 2 – So, this is one of the books that I wrote this year that is currently being edited. I don’t want to give away too many spoilers or anything like that, but I do want to share a favorite quote from the book as a bit of a teaser. Look for it on Amazon around April of 2018. This is one of the truest things I’ve ever had one of my characters say:

“You said you wanted romance. There’s nothing romantic about Florida or Southern California.”

Untitled Carly Allen 3 – Because I am incapable of doing anything in a manner that makes sense, I wrote this book before I wrote the second one. When I wrote Burn Before Reading, I knew exactly the story I wanted to tell. I knew how this trilogy was going to start and end before I even put the first word in a Word document. Who knows when this one will come out, but I am so ineffably excited for it. It takes place a few years after college. Here’s a little teaser of one of my favorite quotes from the book:

Magic. Pure electricity I remember feeling in my bones the way that old people can feel rain in their kneecaps. There is something so beautiful about the beginning of the rest of your life. All wide and sprawling and laid out for the taking. The pile of kindling just waiting for the match. Long before you know if the fire will keep you warm or burn you both to the ground.

Playlist Thursday: Have a Holly, Jolly, But Mostly Melancholy Christmas

Y’all really thought I was going to let Christmas come and go without dropping the hottest saddest holiday playlist????

That’s right. I’m back. Ready and armed with the saddest Christmas songs you could ever need. It’s not a long list because I don’t really do Christmas music. Blasphemous, I know. I like it when it’s in the background, but I only have a select few songs that I go out of my way to listen to.

Before we get into that, lemme just address the elephant in the room; yes, it’s been a WHILE. Listen, my ruthless editor gave me a deadline (last night) to finish the first draft of the second book in the Carly Allen Trilogy. Which means, not only is the first draft for the second book done, BUT the first draft of the third book has been done for while. Now’s the part of the process where I get to sit back and relax. Which means I’m going to work on the book that I worked on during NaNoWriMo. It also means that this blog is officially BACK.

Although, not really back because my family is coming in like three days, so this blog isn’t going to be at the top of my To-Do list.

However, since it is the holiday season and it’s the season of giving and I am a giver, without further ado, the Christmas playlist you’ve been waiting for.

Have a Holly, Jolly, Melancholy Christmas

  1. Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town by Bruce Springsteen – At this point, if you’re still shocked about the presence of a Bruce Springsteen song on a playlist of mine, I truly don’t know how to help you. My dad doesn’t think the holiday season officially starts until he hears this song “organically” on the radio. He doesn’t say organically. I’m saying organically. Anyway, I don’t have the same kind of patience as him and I just listen to this all the time.
  2. Christmas and Me are Through by Your Vegas – This song has been in my life for nine years and I just now heard the actual studio version of this song and it shook me to my core. For so long, I’ve been listening to a bad audio rip of it because it doesn’t exist anywhere. This song’s real sad and the guy singing it is like, Santa, Christmas is over because the girl I love left me, so just throw everything away there’s no point anymore.
  3. Blue Christmas by The Lumineers – I’ve had this song on repeat for about two weeks and you may be thinking to yourself, is Tina okay? And the answer’s yes. I’m fine physically, but know that my heart is hurting because I can’t say more than five words to the cute cashier at Whole Foods. Hence this song. But also, this song’s pretty great, heartache or not.
  4. Old Mexico by The Summer Set – RIP The Summer Set, you’ll be missed. They put this on a free album they put out many moons ago called What Money Can’t Buy. Is this really a Christmas song? No, but they do mention Christmas Eve once. It’s more of a New Year song, but I’m not being picky. Speaking of New Year, though…
  5. New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift – I like acoustic Taylor Swift songs the most. Sue me. It has virtually nothing to do with Christmas or New Year’s, but you can pry this song’s spot on this list from my cold, dead hands.
  6. River by Joni Mitchell (And Lea Michele on Glee) – Listen, sometimes Glee wasn’t a total dumpster fire and this is one of those times.
  7. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Literally Anyone – This might be my all-time favorite Christmas song and I love just about any rendition of the song. However, Anna Kendrick’s version is definitely one of the best.
  8. The Opening Song from Olive the Other Reindeer – If you haven’t seen the greatest Christmas film of all time, let me tell you the charming plot of this movie; basically there’s this lil puppy named Olive whose favorite holiday is Christmas. One year, one of Santa’s reindeer gets injured and Santa says that they’ll have to make do with “all of the other reindeer.” Lil sweet baby Olive thinks Santa said, “Olive, the other reindeer.” So, with the help of a penguin named Martini, Olive travels to the North Pole to save Christmas. It’s forking cinema.
  9. My Christmas Card to You by The Partridge Family – This might be the sweetest Christmas song that exists and I don’t think enough people know about it. It’s one of my mom’s favorites and she always tells this story about how she made homemade Christmas cards with lyrics from the song inside. More people should listen to this song and more people should make homemade Christmas cards.

Alright, that’s it. Those are the only songs that matter this holiday season. I hope you’re getting to spend the season with the ones you love. Please be nice to retail employees. Merry Chrysler (that is a joke, mother. don’t change it). I will now return to the SECOND of two Hallmark movies I’ve indulged in tonight; A Princess for Christmas. The first, if anyone was curious was Window Wonderland.

What have I become.

Make #Supergirl Queer, You Cowards (3.09 Recap)

Listen. A lot of really cool stuff happened in this episode, but I’d like to focus this recap on one issue. You all know this is an EXTREMELY aggressively pro-Lena Luthor blog for a multitude of reasons:

  1. The actress who plays Lena Luthor looks freakishly like the first girl I had a crush on in high school.
  2. Lena’s an inherently fascinating character, what with being the younger sister of one of DC’s biggest villains.
  3. The missed potential of a relationship between Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor will genuinely haunt me until the day I die.

Now that we have that out of the way, let me just say that I have a LOT of opinions about the James/Lena BULLSHIT that was forced upon the world in this episode.

First of all, I’m SICK and TIRED of writers forcing straight romances because they have no idea what to do with two characters. Are James and Lena compelling characters? Yes. Does that and that alone mean they should be together? No.

James is a pretty solid dude, but he doesn’t ever trust that Lena will do the right thing, despite the fact that she has consistently planted herself on the good side. If something bad happens that can minimally be related to Lena, James is like, idk, maybe she’s evil now lol.

Call me old fashioned, but I’d prefer my love interest to have consistent, unwavering support for me even when things don’t look good.

One of my favorite ridiculous scenes from season two was when everyone thought Lena was actually evil except for Kara, because she has literally never once doubted Lena. This pissed Kara off so much that she had to go punch some concrete.

And who was leading the anti-Lena campaign? James Olsen.

Another issue for this doomed relationship is that there’s genuinely zero chemistry between the two of them. That’s not a knock on their acting. Just, sometimes, two people exude chemistry, and sometimes it’s not there. They’ve shared three scenes (maybe) together and in most of those, it’s been entirely professional without even the tiniest bit of subtext.

When it comes to LGBT couples, TV shows have to have a plethora of scenes where the founding blocks of the relationship are established before they get together. Even then, there will still be people out there who SOMEHOW didn’t see it coming. For heterosexual couples, a guy and a girl only have to look at each other ONCE and suddenly, it’s a true love story.

Genuinely, out of nowhere, in this episode both Kara and Sam were like omg Lena the chemistry between you and James is UNREAL. It would’ve made much more sense to pair Lena with Winn since they’ve at least worked together a few times and they’re both tech nerds. It’s simply a case of the writers not knowing what to do with Lena and James, so they just pushed them into a relationship.

But what do I know?

The New York Times posted an article basically explaining non-canon relationships to the masses by doing a Q&A with a Tumblr expert, whatever that is. Anyway, the point is that they used Lena and Kara as an example and I simply CANNOT believe THE NEW YORK TIMES wrote about this.

Listen. I’m a rational human being…except when it comes to Pitch Perfect and you’d best BELIEVE my ass is getting queer baited for the THIRD time. So, when it comes to Supergirl, I’m completely aware this storyline will never be written. However, SOMEHOW they’re writing a compelling love story without even trying when all their actual attempts to write love stories are horrible.

Here’s an example:

During season two of Supergirl, Kara and Lena are having a heart-to-heart after Kara cleared Lena’s name. Lena’s thank you to Kara is as follows: “Supergirl, may have saved me, but Kara Danvers, you are my hero.”

During season two of Supergirl, not only did Mon-el think Kara was incapable of saving the world, he called her desire to save people “one of the more annoying things about [her].”

But who is Kara supposed to be in love with???

During Barry Allen and Iris West’s wedding in the last portion of this year’s crossover, part of Iris’ vows are as follows: “The Flash might be the city’s hero, but Barry Allen, you are my hero.”

You can’t just have two characters say the EXACT same thing and have it be the pinnacle of romance in one instance and just friendship in the other. It’s one thing to see The Flash or Supergirl as heroes, but it’s another to see Barry Allen and Kara Danvers as heroes. That’s what Barry and Kara want. Someone to see them for the dual lives they lead and to love them for who they are without superpowers. Mayo man Mon-el can’t even appreciate Kara as a hero, let alone understand how important Kara Danvers, the regular person, is.

At the end of the day, it’s just bad writing. Anyone with eyes sees that Kara and Lena are a better story than any other couple on the show. And I think that’s what’s making me so mad. It’s the fact that there’s this amazing chance at a really forking good storyline right there. And it’ll never happen.

This isn’t just me desperate for better queer representation on television (although, hi, yes, I’d love better LGBT representation), this is just anger that nobody in the writers’ room can see what’s in front of them because they already have their one gay character quota filled by Alex Danvers.

Charlie Brooker is the writer/creator of Black Mirror which, if you’re not watching it, you truly should be. It’s basically like the modern technology-centered update of The Twilight Zone. It’s so very good.

There’s an episode called San Junipero. I won’t give away any of the real spoilers/specifics in case somebody out there hasn’t seen it, but the central focus is on a gay relationship. While writing it, Brooker originally planned to center it on a heterosexual couple, but he was hitting a roadblock. Eventually, he says he switched it to two women and then it basically wrote itself. He joked that that was his writing advice. If you’re stuck, make it gay.

Well, Supergirl writers, maybe you should take that advice because what you’re doing isn’t working. Plain and simple.

As I’ve said a million times over the course of this blog, what makes Kara and Lena’s basis for a relationship of any kind, so compelling is the history it’s built on. Lex Luthor and Superman’s rivalry is one for the ages.

You have two girls who grew up in the shadows of two of the most famous men in the world. One, trying to be just as good, the other, attempting to repent for her brother’s sins. Both of them yearning to live a life that’s entirely their own. That’s interesting. There is so much that is starkly different about them and so much that is absolutely the same.

People talk all the time about opposites attracting, but a lot of times that’s written as two people yelling at each other before eventually just making out. Never any sort of resolution as to the differences that split them.

Kara and Lena are opposites. Kara’s family (at least Clark, not the rest of the Kryptonian Zor-els) stands for everything that’s good in the world. Lena’s family stands for hatred and fear-mongering and xenophobia. Kara’s world is sunny and pastel and a little eccentric. Lena’s world is all hard lines and professional and minimalist. They are opposites through and through, but there’s a current that runs through the two of them that makes them a lot closer than anyone may realize.

Their lives are shaped by loss. Kara’s lost basically everything she’s ever known. Lena lost her birth mother and her father. The one person who made her feel at home in the world was Lex. And look what happened to him.

But their lives are also shaped by hope. Unrelenting, passionate hope despite the world knocking them down again and again.

They’re compatible on such a basic level that it infuriates me because if the writers really were trying to make their show the best it can be, this would be a no-brainer. Not just for the beautiful fact that a proudly queer superhero is what the world needs, but because it’s the best story they can tell.

Make it queer, you cowards.

Legends of Flarrowgirl: The Crossover We All Asked For, But Did We Really Need?

Y’know, I always knew Supergirl treated James like garbage, but I truly did not anticipate them having James’ only crossover moment be him getting murdered by a Nazi in the first five minutes. It’s truly impressive how often my boy James isn’t treated nicely.

A couple things before we talk about the crossover as a whole:

  • Barry Allen and Iris West continue to be the only fictional straight television people I care about.
  • Bless this show for bringing back King Shark even just for a moment. I LOVE KING SHARK.
  • If absolutely nothing else, this crossover brought the one-night stand of Sara Lance and Alex Danvers, and my life has meaning again. Supergirl is wildly underutilizing Chyler Leigh’s comedic timing.
  • Mick Rory is a gem and I love him.
  • It’s cheesy as hell that they made Kara sing the song Barry sang from the musical episode last season, but fork if I didn’t tear up a little bit.
  • Joe West continues to be one of the best fictional dads on television and I 100% cried at his toast.
  • GOD BLESS KID FLASH.
  • I love that Mick has essentially replaced Commander Cold with Killer Frost. It’s a bizarre team-up I never anticipated, but I forking love it.
  • Supergirl and Nazi Supergirl’s fight was super duper cheesy, but I low-key loved seeing Kara fight in the dress she wore to the wedding. It’s weird seeing her fight in a not Supergirl outfit. Why does Nazi Supergirl talk like a low-key ’50s mobster?
  • I love how EVERYONE consistently realizes that Supergirl is the strongest team member and greatest asset EXCEPT everyone’s least favorite so-called star-crossed lover, Mon-el. Like, are they even trying to make him look like a good guy anymore or is continuity of no concern to the writers?
  • I was NOT a fan of Oli and Felicity hijacking Barry and Iris’s wedding at all. And WHERE was Joe???
  • BUT GODDAMN FELICITY STANDING UP TO NAZI OLIVER IS SO DAMN DOPE
  • That’s probably the best thing this crossover did right. They let everyone be a hero. Even the lone two on the shows without superpowers: Iris and Felicity.

I have a lot of issues with the whole Earth-X concept. First of all, since we’re living in a garbage time right now where The New York Times published a puff piece about the humanity of Nazis in 2017, I feel like Earth-X should’ve looked like our world instead of a far-away seeming. Punching twenty-first century Nazis would’ve made a much stronger political stance…the one they alluded to when they realized the Nazis weren’t anachronisms and from a world where the Allies didn’t win World War II. This far-off land made it seem like the problem of white supremacy doesn’t exist anymore and that we live in a more evolved society that’s beyond racism. We don’t, but making Earth-X look so different from the Earth we know separates us from that.

Also, the fact that they left Earth-X to be overrun by Nazis is not something I particularly like. It’s some straight-up nonsense. They’re heroes. They save the damn day and they don’t go home until everyone’s safe. But they’re only apparently concerned with the people of their own Earth. Barry weakly offers his support to the people of Earth-X at the end, but I doubt we’re ever going to hear about Earth-X again. Like yeah, Nazi Supergirl and Nazi Arrow died, but that doesn’t mean Earth-X is free.

Second of all, when the promos came out, I was hoping that the reason the heroes were in league with Nazis was because they got brainwashed or something. I don’t like the idea that there’s an Earth out there where these heroes actively chose to be in the Nazi ranks. Especially since Barry Allen and Kara Danvers have been canonically written as Jewish in their comics. That doesn’t sit right with me. At all.

And it’s not like there wasn’t a rebellion on Earth-X the heroes could’ve been a part of. Earth-X James was acting as Guardian, Earth-X Alex was so fiercely anti-Nazi that she tried to kill her own sister, and Earth-X Winn was the leader of the resistance. If James and Alex can be good on all Earths, why can’t the heroes?

It would’ve been SO EASY to have brainwashing as the reason behind it. Superheroes are such a symbol of strength and hope when all is lost. I know he’s Marvel, but Captain America was written by Jewish men in the middle of World War II and the cover of the first comic was Cap punching Hitler. That’s hope in the darkest times. A lot of superheroes were born in that time period and it’s a damn shame to have to watch these symbols of hope actively choose to be Nazis.

Here’s the thing about superheroes; they’re good with a capital G. They’re like the best person you could ever conceive of. Even if they struggle with how to deal with pain or loss or things like that, at the end of the day, they’re here to save the day. They’re beacons of hope in weary worlds.

Since the writers for this crossover have made these heroes turn into Nazis, they’re saying there’s a part of each of them, deep inside, that’s hateful. They took these great beacons and turned them into hateful beings. They’re saying there’s a version of Kara Danvers out there who lived through Krypton dying, woke up in a world that violently oppressed and murdered millions of people, and STILL joined the Nazis?! Not my Kara Danvers.

Which brings me back to my question from above: if Earth-X James, Alex, and Winn knew that Nazis were bad, how the fork did Supergirl become one?

I’m sure there’s a way to tell the story they were aiming to tell, but a show that makes an offhand comment about Mengele is not the show that should be telling the story. It didn’t have to be about Nazis like this.

My parents are avid readers of my blog, but they don’t watch Supergirl. I guess they wanted to feel close to me since I live three thousand miles away, so, without telling me, they tuned in on Monday night for the newest episode of Supergirl. Only problem was, they didn’t realize it was the crossover event with all these other characters, so they were CONFUSED, to say the least. And, so, for night two, I asked them to text me their thoughts because I could only imagine how wild they would be.

They also felt the Nazi plot was NOT the right choice, and if this was the first episode of the show they’ve seen and even they figured it out, then the studio should’ve figured it out too.

Without further ado, some parental texts:

  • “Assassin is wearing an interesting outfit. Supergirl’s sister is very upset.”
  • “But wait, C3PO just appeared and shot a green laser. Don’t know who he is.”
  • “Dad says who knew there was so much banging in the super world.”
  • “Poor Supergirl is struggling, strapped to a table under red sunlight and listening to Nazi Supergirl tell her how stupid she is.”
  • “My phone’s at 6 percent. And I’m 100% sure I’m not making sense. This show doesn’t make sense!”
  • “Fun quote. 1st guy says You know I can’t say no when you look at me like that. 2nd guy says That’s why I look at you like that.”
  • Me: “Why’d she pinch her nose?” My parents: “To be mean. We laughed.”
  • “More eye beam stuff. Can’t stop laughing.” (Supergirl’s laser eyes really got them good numerous times.)
  • “Who’s the guy with the arrows?” (The answer would be Arrow.)
  • “Uh oh, they’ve reached red light saturation!”
  • “Wayne?” (They meant Winn.)
  • “I believe the other Kara turned off the power just before the guy was going to stick the scary drill thing in her chest. Not sure why he wouldn’t use a scalpel first…”
  • “Good Earth Kara is saving Supergirl” (Good Earth Kara is Felicity, so not actually Kara.)
  • “Oh no! Son is telling his wife he’s dead. Daughter too? They live in a nice Craftsman house.”

(also, regular blog posts are coming back soon. plz stay tuned.)

Thank You & I’m Sorry: The Magic of Lady Bird

I’ve been known to be a little hyperbolic in my day. One time in college, I had to read Kiss, Bow, Shake Hands. It’s this book that detailed how to do business in a bunch of different countries and the customs prominent in each of them, so you wouldn’t accidentally offend someone. When it came to the Greece chapter, they talked about how Greeks are VERY hyperbolic and I truly cannot argue with that fact. At least I’m aware of how I come across.

However, despite my hyperbolic tendencies, know that this next statement I mean from the bottom of my soul. It would be true even if I wasn’t from a people that made me genetically predisposed to hyperbolic tendencies: If you only watch one single movie in theatres for the rest of the year, make it Lady Bird.

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I’m aggressively pro-Greta Gerwig, so you may be thinking that my judgement is clouded or something. Let me tell you, it’s not. I’m capable of being impartial. I love Anna Kendrick, but I have ZERO trouble talking about which movies of hers were trash. The Marc Pease Experience. So it stands to reason that I’m capable of seeing without my rose-colored Greta Gerwig glasses on when it comes to Lady Bird.

I already talked very briefly about the movie last week, but I wanted to talk about it again because it’s Thanksgiving. Not only is there a Thanksgiving scene in the movie, but this holiday, along with the holiday season that follows, is about home and family.

Lady Bird is ashamed about every part of her family in the way that only a teenager can be. Her brother has too much “shit in his face,” she makes her dad drop her off before school and prefers someone else to make her lunch, her mom never seems to understand her, and she tells everyone she’s from the wrong side of the tracks because she doesn’t like her house. She hates Sacramento and cannot wait to leave for somewhere that actually has culture. Like Connecticut or New York.

There’s a line in the movie where Lady Bird sighs and looks out the window at Sacramento and says, “I just wish that I could live through something.” Her mom points out that she’s living through something now, but Lady Bird laments that it’s not the same thing. It’s that teenage yearning for something big and important. It’s never clear what should happen, just the feeling of SOMETHING.

When you’re young, you feel like your engine is revving right at the starting line. And you’re there in the driver’s seat, waiting for the light to tick down to green, but it never gets there. It just cycles through every shade of yellow imaginable. You’re stuck in this limbo where you feel like you could move fast enough to change the world, but you have no idea what to do or how to do it. Lady Bird captured this youthful restlessness perfectly.

Even though Lady Bird spends the movie complaining that she’s stuck in Sacramento, this is actually a sweet love letter to Lady Bird’s hometown. The nun who looks over her college admissions essay says how clear it is that Lady Bird loves Sacramento. Lady Bird says, “I mean, I guess I pay attention” and then the nun says, “Aren’t those the same? Love and attention?” I’ve seen people criticize this line, saying that love and attention are very different, but I think they’re wrong.

When the nun says attention, she’s not saying it’s a negative thing. We judge people who are needy or have to be the center of attention at all times. That’s not what Greta’s script is referring to.

Attention: I think in this sense, it simply means noticing and, subsequently, caring.

People are most touched when someone pays attention. Like they make an offhand comment about how they need a new laptop sleeve and someone gets them that for Christmas (what’s up, Brendanawicz) instead of getting something they assume the person wants. They did some study about wedding gifts and how the married couple ends up disliking the gifts they get that aren’t on their registry. People like when other people pay attention.

Lady Bird realizes just what that nun meant when she’s finally escaped to New York. The movie ends with this voicemail she leaves for her mom, since they’re not speaking toward the end of the film. She talks about how when she got her license, she wanted to know if her mom felt the same way driving those same roads she’s known since she was a kid. While Lady Bird’s doing this voicemail, we see Lady Bird driving down those roads, then it cuts to the mom driving down those same roads in the same car. I don’t know if I have the words to describe how much that made my heart hurt.

When you’re young, you’re very selfish. You see yourself as the center of the world and you know the people around you based on what they are to you. MY mom, MY dad, MY sister, MY teacher, MY friend, etc. You forget that these people are leading lives that are just as confusing, loving, intricate, painful, and magnificent as yours. It’s easy to get lost in your own world when your own world feels so overwhelming.

Throughout the course of the movie, Lady Bird’s blinders are lifted and she sees that her dad is suffering from depression and her mom is trying her best, but has no idea how to convey her love for Lady Bird. How she was afraid to reach out because she was so worried that Lady Bird wouldn’t understand or that she wouldn’t be able to find the right words.

This is a movie that’s a love letter to moms everywhere. Eventually, Lady Bird realizes that so much of what her mother did was out of love, and she ultimately apologizes for not knowing that. Greta Gerwig said that she’d originally planned to end the movie with a title card that said “CALL YOUR MOTHER” and I just love that.

My relationship with my mom is nowhere near as dramatic as Lady Bird’s is with her mom, but there were still moments when I felt could have been lifted from my own life when I was a stubborn idiot. And because of that, I’m going to end this post the same way Lady Bird ends:

Thank you, Mom. I’m sorry.

(Hi, Dad. You’re great, too! Maybe Greta Gerwig will make a movie about dads next time.)

Don’t Talk to Me or My Baby Sister Ever Again (#Supergirl 3.07 Recap)

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

  • Me when they had Kara speak a full sentence to Mon-el without her figuring out that it’s him, despite the fact that he’s her one true love.

Yet Kara recognized Lena’s voice after hearing her speak only one word.

lol okay, Supergirl writers. If Kara Danvers is straight, then SO AM I.

This is the episode I’ve been looking forward to the least. Nobody needed Mon-el to return. Absolutely NO ONE. I guess he’s been living in a ship beneath National City for a few months? How did no one notice a massive ship go into the water???

Also, I’d just like to point out that Kara can hear Alex’s heartbeat no matter where she is, but she couldn’t even hear Mon-el’s dumb heartbeat when he was in the same damn city. But it’s true love, I guess, so what do I know?

Sam goes to visit her adoptive mother and is like, was I bulletproof as a child because something weird is happening in my life. Also, how rude of Sam’s adoptive mom to kick young, pregnant Sam out of her house for being pregnant.

Anyway, does anyone on this show NOT have mommy issues??

Sam finally finds out she was sent to Earth in a weird pod. I understand that this all building up to her being the Big Bad of the season, but it’s such a shame. I’m really liking Sam. And the only way I’ll take Lena going evil is if she and Sam take over the world together and destroy evil men. That’s the ONLY scenario of Lena going evil I’ll take. Everything else needs to GTFO.

I didn’t realize the show was about to straight up LIE about last season. James said he hadn’t seen Kara happier than she was last year and that Mon-el would never do anything to hurt her. I know the continuity on this show sucks, but I didn’t realize it was THIS bad.

Also, I’m fifteen minutes in and Lena Luthor is nowhere to be found. So what are we even doing here? Plus, this is the first year we’re not getting an Alex Danvers Gets Trashed At Thanksgiving episode. So, again, what are we even doing here?

Oh my godddd, J’onn’s dad experiencing coffee for the first time is the cutest thing. I love this man.

Also, has Mon-el genuinely not changed?? I love that this is supposed to be his triumphant return and he’s shooting at Kara and beating up DEO agents. He doesn’t even get a super suit. Bless.

Kara punching out Mon-el after he attacks the DEO agents is my pure aesthetic tho👌. She’s gotta stop making excuses for this douchey frat boy who doesn’t love her.

Kara had this whole big speech about how deeply she’s been broken since losing him. And Melissa Benoist acted it so well that for a brief millisecond of weakness, I was like shit, maybe she does love him. And then the camera panned to his bearded self and I was like no. You almost got me, Melissa. Almost. After all that, HE SAYS NOTHING TO HER. Then Kara says a line that might be one of my favorites, “Shame on me for having a human heart.” I’m low-key loving the angst. But not Mon-el, he needs to go back from whence he came.

Where’s the scene of Alex Danvers kicking his ass because he broke her baby sister’s heart??? I DESERVE IT.

So apparently, the personified bottle of mayo has been aimless for seven years and went into the future where L-Corp created a cure and that’s why he can exist on Earth again.  As if any descendant of Lena Luthor would make things easier for Mon-el.

Also, his crusty ass needs to give Kara her necklace back. He cares more about this dying Imra girl than he cared about Kara all last season.

Sam’s still on her weird, Kryptonian walkabout and she’s in a desert, I guess? This device from the pod she came on guides her to this thorny cave thing? I don’t know. I still don’t see how she’s going to turn into a villain. Poor Lena, though. She thinks she has three friends, and pretty soon, she’s going to have to watch two of her friends try to kill each other.

Stale White Bread Boy is like, sorry I moved on, I didn’t know if I’d see you again. I know extraordinarily little about Doctor Who, but I do know that one of the Doctors waited a thousand some years for his girlfriend, so you couldn’t have waited seven, Mikey??

Then, he’s like “you never needed my protection” and launches into a weird story about how one time they went for all-you-can-eat ribs, as though that’s an instance in which she needs his protection. What even is this relationship?

ARE YOU JOKING?! BLAND, SLAVE-OWNING, WHITE BREAD MON-EL GOT SHACKED UP IN KARA’S ABSENCE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I’M CRYING. THIS IS FORKING HILARIOUS.

So much for star-crossed lovers.

Oh, man, nothing says true love like giving up hope on getting back to the one you love. Damn, Mikey, you cold. I knew you were a douche, but this is a new low. Kara literally asked five minutes ago who the girl is and he’s just like her name is Imra, not “my wife.” I hate this POS.

Clearly, Mon-el was fine this whole time because he had NO trouble getting hitched. God, what a mess. AND THEN he flat-out outs her as Supergirl. Is anything sacred to him??

A literal minute ago, he was like, I shouldn’t have kept secrets from you, BUT THEN DIDN’T TELL HER HE WAS MARRIED. What kind of white boy nonsense.

I hope this episode proved to Kara that she spent seven months mourning the loss of a boy who doesn’t give a shit about her and that she can do so much better. AKA James Olsen or Lena Luthor.

Sam’s back in the weird cave and it’s foreboding as hell, but she decides to explore because I guess she’s not as smart as I thought she was. Apparently, she’s destined to be a Worldkiller and she’s like no, “I’M A GOOD PERSON.” Which is my go-to excuse for anything.

I do like that they’ve made it so they’re forcing her to change into Reign and it’s something she didn’t choose because I think it would’ve been awful writing and wildly out of character. Not that that’s stopped them before!

reign.png

Mood of 2017

Anyway, that’s it for this week. Tune in next week for my thoughts on the crossover episodes. Pray that Sara Lance and Alex Danvers get trashed at Barry and Iris’ wedding to have a multiverse one-night stand.

(Hi, I know I’ve been MIA for a while. It’s National Novel Writing Month and I have been TRYING to finish this forking book. I’m like almost there, but what’s really exciting is that I think I have a plan?? Stay tuned.)

Santa Barbara, 1979

(I wrote this for an online website, but they passed on it and since I am very lazy, I’m gonna publish it here. Their loss and my laziness gain.)

I’ve never been to Santa Barbara. It’s one of the places to visit on that list I never seen to cross anything off of. Work gets in the way or life gets in the way. Traffic definitely gets in the way. But 20th Century Women’s 1979 Santa Barbara feels like home.

I was born in 1993. I grew up practicing active shooter drills in my elementary school and wishing recess didn’t have to be canceled because of the DC sniper. I grew up with the birth of the internet, the death of American innocence, pop stars, boredom without any reason to be bored. I grew up with Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears. I didn’t put my feet in the Pacific Ocean until I was twenty-two-years old.

Home was Towson, Maryland, on a suburban road that dead-ended in a house we only went to on Halloween because they gave out the king size candy bars. Home was a hand-me-down Jeep Grand Cherokee that carried me over winding roads to my first real job, and the empty church parking lot with the streetlights that wouldn’t go out. Home was that one stretch of Old Court Road where the forty-mile-an-hour speed limit felt like a hundred miles an hour to a sixteen-year old.

I saw 20th Century Women for the first time after it was snubbed at the Oscars. Embarrassingly late for someone who’s a self-proclaimed ride or die fan of Greta Gerwig. It was a brutal summer afternoon in the living room of an apartment I shared with two other people. The living room was also my bedroom. Lucky for me, it was the only room in the walk-up apartment that had air-conditioning.

I sat criss-cross applesauce about a foot in front of the TV because you couldn’t feel the breeze coming from the window unit beyond that. I sat there and watched all two hours of 20th Century Women. For the first time since I’d moved to California, I cried for the home that was already gone.

20th Century Women tells the story of Jamie and Dorothea Fields and the ragtag family they’ve created in the boarding house Dorothea runs. Dorothea’s worried she doesn’t know how to raise a son because she’s out of touch with the world, so she enlists the help of Jamie’s best friend, Julie, and a tenant in the house, Abbie. With their help, Jamie learns how to be a man.

Towson and Santa Barbara have nothing in common. Santa Barbara has almost twice the population of Towson, but only one of the seasons. Towson is home to John Waters and Michael Phelps, while Santa Barbara has an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to notable people. Towson doesn’t even touch water, but Santa Barbara’s got miles of coastline.

It’s jarring to be understood by a movie about a place you’ve never been starring people you’ll never know in a time you’ll never be alive for. I’ve never been to Santa Barbara, I’ll never have the chance to meet Abbie or Julie or Jamie, and I was born fourteen years after the movie takes place. Yet it feels like it could’ve been my own memory.

I’ve called eleven different places home. Falls Church, Carmichaels, Fairmont, Towson, Roanoke, Morgantown, Lake Buena Vista, Orlando, Pittsburgh, Tustin, and Glendale. I’ve slept in eleven different beds and only shared ownership of a bed once. I’ve lived with my family and fourteen strangers. Of those fourteen strangers, I dated one and remained friends with a handful. I’ve driven my car up the coast, over the mountains, across the desert, and to the other coast.

The thing about home is that somewhere along the way it stops being a specific place and becomes a feeling you can find anywhere, in anything. It’s a serenity, a kind of calm that settles over you. The kind of calm you feel when you open your front door, drop your keys in the bowl on the table, and kick off your shoes after a long day. The kind of calm that washes over you when you fall into your bed with freshly laundered sheets.

When the movie started with the shot of the rolling Pacific waves and the soft psychedelic soundtrack, I felt it. I felt at home and instantly at ease. That’s what Mike Mills does well. He creates an environment filled with vibrant characters who feel like they could very much have walked out of a chapter of your own life story.

When the movie ends, Jamie’s voiceover is talking about how he has a son now and how Dorothea didn’t live to see the new millennium. The last lines of the movie go, “I will try to explain to him what his grandmother was like, but it will be impossible.”

Describing home is impossible. Four walls don’t make a home. A roof doesn’t make a home. Food on the table, a white picket fence, 2.5 kids. None of that makes a home, but it’s what we’re taught. Almost like a recipe. Add a six-figure salary, responsible significant other, a dog named Sparky, and beat until thoroughly mixed. That’s what they tell us, but there is no instant home recipe.

The roof on Dorothea’s boarding house is falling apart. The entire building is falling apart. There’s no white picket fence and there are always more than 2.5 kids around. Mix all of that together and you have a place that brings people together. You have a home.

When I saw this movie for the first time, I thought my tears came from a place of longing for a childhood that was gone. Maybe for a chance to relive it, but better this time. Smarter. I was wrong. I cried because for one brief moment I understood what we’re all doing here. I could see all the things that matter and all the things that don’t. The world, for just the tiniest second, came into focus.

I moved to California for the same reason everyone moves to California. I had Big Screen Dreams. We all come here with stories to tell, with our hopes and dreams packed in a tiny Ford Focus that’ll drive us across the desert to the Promised Land. I wanted to be a writer. I want to be a writer, present tense, but I thought I wanted to write for the movies. It wasn’t until about three weeks ago that I realized I don’t want that. I want to write books. That may not seem like a big distinction because it’s still writing, but the realization was earth shattering for me.

It’s hard to feel at home in Los Angeles. You spend too much time in the car to ever meet people who might become friends. It’s impossible to trust anyone whose favorite food is kale, so that kind of limits things too. The ones who are aspiring, though, they’re my favorite part of this place. The ones who came here to be an actor or a writer or a director or a producer. The ones who were driven to a strange land from the places they know and love, often alone, for a chance to do the thing they love.

20th Century Women doesn’t end all neat and tidy. It doesn’t pretend there’s a guarantee of a happy outcome for our time here. People die too soon, they lose love again and again, people defy the odds and lose track of each other. But at the end of the day, it’s about people finding each other and connecting for however brief a time they’re lucky enough to get. 20th Century Women reminds us all that home is in human connection.

I don’t think too fondly of Towson. Not for any particular reason, but just because it never really felt like mine. However, there’s nothing I love more than meeting someone who’s also from Towson because only they get what I’m talking about. They know what the free coffee in Ukazoo tastes like. They know what the mall looks like in the snow. They bruised their knees on the same asphalt. We instantly connected and understand each other, even if we’ve just said hello.

20th Century Women is a love letter to Santa Barbara and life in the ’70s in California. It’s dreamy and gritty and filled to bursting with love. I get the same thrill when I find out someone has seen this movie that I do when I find out they’re from my hometown. Because they know how this movie feels. How it buries itself inside your heart and makes a home for you.

Home is a person or a place or thing that’s inside you. You can always find your way there.

Playlist Thursday: A Careful Man’s Careful Daughter

Everyone and their mom, my mom included, has an opinion on Taylor Swift. I get it, she’s super polarizing and has been around for forever. Regardless of your opinion of her musical ability, you have to admit that it’s quite impressive that she’s kept herself relevant for this long.

I used to be a huge Taylor Swift fan. I think I’ve made it clear that Fearless was my favorite Taylor Swift era and the simple fact that I have a favorite T Swizzle era should tell you that I was a pretty big fan. I’ve only seen her in concert once. Two years ago, I believe, with my best friend Melanie and (some of) her sisters. It was the 1989 tour. I lost my damn mind. And voice.

Anyway, as promised, here’s the definitive list of Taylor Swift’s twenty best songs. With limited input from me because I am tired and it’s past my bedtime. Also, I ate weird fake meat tacos for dinner and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, so cut me some slack. It’s still in before west coast best coast midnight.

Playlist Thursday: A Careful Man’s Careful Daughter

  1. Mine – Speak Now: Obviously, since this is the name of the playlist, it had to go first. It’s a breezy love song that Taylor does exceptionally well with just enough “us against the world” mentality for sixteen-year-old me to be super into it.
  2. You Are In Love – 1989: I like to pretend to forget that I know who this song is written about. It kinda takes some of the magic away from what is one of the best songs about love that exists in the world.
  3. Our Song – Taylor Swift: She apparently wrote this song for a high school talent show. Kids at my high school talent show poorly sang Defying Gravity from Wicked. It’s wild what different lives we’ve led. But this song is a bop.
  4. Fearless – Fearless: Um, I’m not sure there’s anything sweeter than her sentiment of dancing in the rain in her best dress with somebody she likes. But also, I feel like nobody talks enough about the line that goes, “Run your hands through your hair / Absentmindedly making me want you.” Like shit, Taylor, way to accurately describe the entirety of every crush I’ve ever had.
  5. I Almost Do – Red: I used to always skip this song. I don’t know why, but I did and it wasn’t until like a year and a half ago that I finally listened to it. Just more proof that I am a FOOL.
  6. You Belong With Me – Fearless: This is the quintessential song about the high school experience. We don’t need to discuss it. Even if you didn’t listen to this song in high school, you know exactly what it felt like.
  7. Red – Red: This album may not have been sonically cohesive, but what a way to open an album. (Technically, it’s the second song on the album, but State of Grace just feels like the preamble to this song in my humble opinion.)
  8. Last Kiss – Speak Now: I, too, sit on the floor of my apartment and feel too much. Looks like we have that in common, Taylor.
  9. Call It What You Want – reputation: My jury’s still out about this new album, but this was the first single off it that really made me stop in my tracks and get excited. Taylor Swift doesn’t shine when she’s playing the victim, but she’s bright as hell when it comes to love.
  10. Teardrops on My Guitar – Taylor Swift: I used to play this song on my tuba. You’re welcome. That’s all you need to know…Actually, I take that back. I recently found out that Drew, the boy from this song, showed up on her doorstep sometime after this song came out and I need the full story.
  11. All Too Well – Red: I devoted like a good two paragraphs in my book to this song, so maybe you should just read that. Speaking of need, though; @ TAYLOR SWIFT: WHERE IS THE TEN MINUTE LONG VERSION OF THIS SONG THAT I DESERVE
  12. The Way I Loved You – Fearless: This song is forking wild and I absolutely love it. I mean, realistically, her wanting this shitty bad boy boyfriend is not the best example, but it makes a really forking fun song.
  13. Never Grow Up – Speak Now: Sometimes this song will come on in the car really early in the morning or really late at night and I’ll just bawl. Welcome to my turbulent life. I’m probably crying at any given moment.
  14. Holy Ground – Red: For a long while, this was the only song from this album that I had. “I don’t wanna dance / if I’m not dancing with you.” That about sums up my dancing philosophies.
  15. Blank Space – 1989: So, I feel like this will disappoint my parents, but I’ve never found Taylor Swift more attractive than when she is ruining the lives of men. This might be the greatest music video of all time.
  16. Sparks Fly – Speak Now: What’s that John Green quote? The one about the rain and if people were rain? I know that instead of typing out loud I could’ve just googled it, but where’s the fun in that? Anyway, I like that this era of Taylor Swift was really into rain. I feel ya, kid.
  17. Wildest Dreams – 1989: The predecessor to the next song on this list. Get it, Taylor.
  18. Dress – reputation: This song is too much for my young gay heart
  19. Enchanted – Speak Now: This song is pretty saccharinely sweet. And like who hasn’t repeated that mantra in their head after meeting somebody they can’t get their mind off of? “Please don’t be in love with someone else / Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.” That line’s ripped out of everyone’s journals.
  20. Tim McGraw – Taylor Swift: I may not like country, but this song makes me want to get in a truck and drive to Georgia. Until I remember that I never want to go to Georgia in my life again.